Support

I have decided I can not do this journey on my own. I need all the support I can get. I have always been a person who goes her own way, but if I am not held accountable for what goes into my mouth right now, I know I will over do it. That is one of the reasons why I am making my WLS journey so public. I want others to share my ups and downs and to know that if I can do this, anybody can do this.

I have been sitting idle for the last few weeks because of my back/neck strain. It seems like a vicious circle. I wake up hurting, deal with the pain until evening comes and then take my pain medication. I have been doing this every day. Plus, not being able to go to work is really depressing me. I need to stay active and right now I just feel like a lump on my couch. The good news is that I only have a couple more days before I see the spine specialist. Hopefully, he gets me back up and moving. He is going to be a huge support for me right now.

I am talking with a few of my friends about forming a "support" group in our area. It would be great to be able to plan on going to a meeting once or twice a month. It's a whole lot easier knowing that there are other people out there feeling the same way I am. Of course we are all in different stages of our journey, but that is what makes it so great! Sharing our strengths and weakness, to help each other become stronger. Support is a wonderful thing!

Memories

Have you ever done this?

Your at a red light and you look at a red car. You start thinking about the color of the car and you remember a friend of yours had a red jacket that you liked. You remember that she wore that red jacket on the double date that one night. You then start remembering how bad that double date turned out and all the bad memories that you have been carrying around with you for years. It amazes me how those bad memories can sneak themselves right up to the front of your brain. 

That was just an example of how our mind works with memories. I am a person that buries my bad memories. I have layers and layers of them, starting when I was still in a baby crib. Those memories seem to creep up on me when I least expect it. I will be having a good day and something as simple as the color of a car can make those bad memories come front and center. What do I do? I head for the nearest carb-loaded food to deal with my bad feelings.

I need to break that cycle before I have my WLS. I know it is going to be one of the hardest habits I have ever broken. I am yet to find out the solution to this problem, but I will. How to you deal when something like this happens?

Side note: I am injured again. I hurt my back and neck transferring a Veteran at work. I have been out of work for about two and half weeks now. My doctor has put me out for another two weeks and it could possible be even longer. I have to go see a neck specialist. Physical therapy didn't work. For now, I am on pain killers, a muscle relaxer and a steroid. I'm not happy about the steroid, but my doctor said I should be okay because it's short term. I shouldn't gain to much weight. Really! To much weight? I don't want to gain ANY weight.

During the time that I have been out, I have been able to go to some of my WLS appointments. I have had my first nutrition appointment. She was able to help me look at some of the changes I need to make with my diet and informed me that I have to lose twenty-six pounds before I have my surgery. I joined an online group of local individuals who either are in the beginning stages like me, about to have the surgery or have had the surgery. I am learning a lot from them. I had my psychiatrist appointment to see if I was mentally able to handle something as big as WLS. She said I would be okay. Yay! I also have been scheduled for my three life skills classes that I have to take before the surgery as well. I am excited that I am getting my steps completed. I am one step closer.....

I am thinking I am going to have to push my surgery off a bit now because of the time I have missed from work. I will make that decision in July, once I have finished all my steps. I just need to take one day at a time.

Sorry the writing is so small in the box below.

It's worth the squinting though. ;)